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Translating Google's real meaning in the Viacom Copyright suit

Google blasted Viacom today in the press for suing Google in court for "building a business on a library of copyrighted video clips without permission," according to the NYT today.

Let's have some fun and dissect some of the Google quotes and translate what they are really thinking behind their PR spin...

  • "We are not going to let the lawsuit distract us." Michael Kwan Google lawyer.
    • We are very worried we can't buy off this company like we bought off all the others.
    • We are in deep do-do if Viacom is smart enough to gain access -- through the discovery process -- to the many internal emails that show Google senior management was supportive or complicit in their systematic copyright heist.

Google's filing said:

  • The 1998 "law balances the rights of copyright holders and the need to protect the Internet as an important new form of communication."... "Viacom's complaint threatens the way hundreds of millions of people exchange information, news, entertainment and political and artistic expression." 
    • Google plans to use the famous "everybody does it defense."
    • We also hope to clothe ourselves in the pastie of "fair use."
  • "We feel pretty confident about the case and are ready to take it to court" said Mr. Kwun Google's lawyer.
    • Viacom is not responding to our repeated groveling to meet to offer a super big bribe settlement so this case doesn't go to discovery.
  • " We won't let this distract us from continuing to innovate in this area." Catherine Lacavera Google litigation counsel.  
    • We've always stolen in the past, so why stop now?
  • "Google has asked for a jury trial." reported today's NYT.
    • All we need is one left-leaning juror who will fall for our Robin Hood defense of jury nullification by making Viacom out to be everything bad about big media and Big Business.
    • No jury will convict us with the number one brand in the world.
    • We could get away with murder in a jury trial because the public loves us more than rainbows and puppies.
    • It all comes down to one person; all we need is one vote out of twelve to keep on stealing companies blind.   


Google litigation counsel Catherine Lacavera was quoted in Tech Daily today that