Texting with Eric – A Satire

See the abbreviation list below for the translations of the SMS text abbreviations used by EU Competition Chief Joaquin Almunia and Google Chairman Eric Schmidt in negotiating the EU-Google antitrust agreement via texting -- per reporting by the New York Times.

BFFN = Best friend for now

BFLOW = But FTC looked the other way

CIINST = Call it innovation not special treatment

CITY = Can I trust you

EPPAA = EU privacy people are angry

EPPFLYAIT = EU privacy people feel like you are ignoring them

EPPDGTJ = EU privacy people don’t get the joke

EAG = EU admits guilt

GANG = Google admits no guilt

GDFTCST = Google demands FTC special treatment

IHNLMN = I have not lost my nerve

IMFEG = Investigation must fully exonerate Google

IMITT = I mean it this time

IRMITT = I really mean it this time

IRRMITT = I really, really mean it this time

JGBMOSPWUS = Just got Brussels media on same page with us

LB = Larry’s busy

LSN = Larry says no

LSHN = Larry says hell no

LSHNMCFY = Larry says he needs more concessions from you

MASOF5PM = Must announce settlement on a Friday 5PM

MTSOOTTF = Must take Statement of Objections off the table forever  

NIDWGG = No I don’t want Google Glass

NDINS4US = Non-discrimination is a non-starter for us

NLWYAM = No Larry will yell at me

PDPPMHFKJUIPY = Please delete photo of me high-fiving Kim Jong-un in Pyongyang

PRW = Parents are watching

PTMB = Please throw me a bone

PNTH = Promise no Trojan horses

SAW = Staff are watching

SWCPSAPST = Sure we can package search and patent settlements together

TMHB = Throw me half a bone

TMPOAB = Throw me a picture of a bone

WHADIYMV = We have a deal if you make it voluntary

YYCTUWRG = Yes you can trust us we are Google