Leona Googley: "Only little people follow rules"

Brandy Sparkles, Google's roving PR crisis manager parachuted into London last night to snuff out any dissent or questions about Google's purchase of BeatThatQuote.com, a UK price comparison site Google is buying for a reported $37m.

• Google's Brandy Sparkles, known in Google circles as the "Red Adair" of corporate PR crisis management, was called in to snuff out coverage of an impertinent, "little" SEO Book blogpost:  "Google buys BeatThatQuote, A UK comparison site violating Google's rules."
• That post chronicles how Google bought a site that employs lots of the "low quality" "cheating" SEO tactics that Google ruled are unacceptable SEO practices just last month.

After sizing up the SEOBook's charge that Google was being hypocritical in not following its own rules, Brandy Sparkles released the following statement:

"We are the Goog. We make the rules for others on the Internet and we can change them any time we want. That's the way this world works. Life is not fair and Google does not try to be.

Anyone that has a problem with that should remember Google knows everybody's most private information and more importantly, the Goog is "the biggest Kingmaker on this earth" -- the only one that decides who wins and loses on the Internet -- and that decides who are the Internet's royalty and who are the Internet's little people.

As our CEO repeatedly has made clear to the little people:

• "We know where you are and what you like."
• "We know where you are and we know where you have been. We can more or less know what you are thinking about."

The little people know who butters their digital bread and who can take it away (as the Goog showed everyone by remotely removing applications from the little people's Android phones this week.

Now that we have reminded the little people who is boss, the Goog will explain why BeatThatQuote.com will not be doing any "low quality" or "cheating" SEO behavior.

• When Google owns BeatThatQuote.com, it won't have to compete with the other little people for Internet traffic, Google will simply hardcode BeatThatQuote to always be the top search result in Google's search engine.
• Problem solved!

In closing, let us be clear. Only little people follow rules. Google makes the rules. Or as we say in Mountain View -- Google rules.

Thanks for your time and attention to this insignificant matter, please return to whatever else you were doing, we will be watching to be sure you do."