Last week the Financial Times asked Google CEO Larry Page in an interview on Google’s ambitions if Google needed to update its well-known mission statement: “To organize the world’s information and make it universally accessible and useful.”
Mr. Page actually responded: “I think we do, probably. We’re still working that out.”
Top Ten Suggested Google Mission Statement Updates – A Satire
- “To commoditize the world’s competitive products and services and make them universally inaccessible and useless.”
- “One world database, one world network, one world computer, one world winner: Google.”
- “To run the world based on Mr. Page’s ideas, values and ambitions.”
- “To surveil all, know all, decide all, replace all and control all.”
- “To automate the world’s jobs because people don’t scale.”
- “Megalomania is the new black.”
- “Let them eat code.”
- “Google uber alles.”
- “10x this.”
- “You will all be assimilated; resistance is futile.”